Wool

Carl and I have this thing about the T.V.  He loves it.  I hate it.  He could spend the predominant part of his day and night watching T.V.  I want to knock it over and stomp on it until it’s a big pile of crumbs.  Almost did one time.  I picked up a 27’’ screen, one of the old ones with the fat rear end, carried it out to our porch and set it on the railing 15 feet above the ground.  I made my point and the T.V suffered no injuries. 

He told me tonight that the day he sees me spooling wool is the day he gets rid of the T.V.  What he doesn’t realize is that he just gave me the biggest inspiration possible to learn to shear, comb, spin, and utilize wool.  Granted, it may take me a month or two, or three, hell maybe all summer but I’ll figure it out.  Never have I had a way to get him to agree to freely give up the T.V.  I mean, I could have pitched a fit, gotten all emotional, maybe thrown a few guilt trips and tempers but why do that?  I don’t want to take away something he loves unwillingly.  Nah, free will though, that’s a different story.

People Can Change!

Even when you don't think it's possible, that it's just out of their scope to be any different than how they how, they just might surprise you! Believe in change.  It's the only permanent aspect of life.  

Time and again I've been proved wrong.  Once I finally accepted that someone was never going to change, I adjusted my own outlook to include them in my life, or not in my life.  And then... they changed!  Was it that my own perception of their personality shifted once I fully accepted them for who they were, not wishing for anything different?  Or can you really teach an old dog new tricks?  Probably both. 

There is this fine line between loving someone and accepting who they are, faults and assets combined, having no desire for them to be any other way, and then seeing their potential and inspiring them to live up to it.  I don't think that is changing who they are, it's helping them to become better people.  I would hope they return the favor.  In the course of trying to per sway them to change, you may beat your head against that brick fall a few dozen times, but in the end it's worth it.  Because one day that individual will progress and realize that you just wanted the best for them; to feel better about themselves.

For me, witnessing that change is great inspiration. It restores my faith in human nature and in turn inspires me to strive for more.  You have to be that change you wish to see in this world. (Gandhi) And in my experience the best way to do that is to lead by example.  

Thank you to all those people who have made me believe. 

6 Hours Later

Communication breakdowns.  Ever had one of those?  I've recently had quite a few.  I wanted to share the situation but most of the outlets in my life just weren't going to cut it.  So I had this great idea.  Start a blog!  Six hours later, here I am.

I like to write.  I've kept journals most of my life.  Its been my chosen release since I was a young girl.  Anxiety, stress, doubts, ideas... any time I had too much going on in my head I would write, and it helped.  I got to thinking.  Why not share my thoughts?  Gets some constructive criticism, exchange ideas, share pictures and goals.  Maybe then my writing will serve some purpose.  The nice thing about a blog is I don't have to apologize for my words.  Or try and explain them anymore than I want to.  If you don't like it then don't read it!

I do not consider myself well educated.  I know enough to get by and I'm always learning but you'll have to excuse my ignorance at times.  I tend to ramble and can be rather repetitive.  

There is another reason for this blog.  I preferred it be anonymous but I also prefer not to maintain two blogs.  I need to vent but I also want to share my life.  Our life.  My partner and I.  What we are doing is not a new concept, what we dream and strive towards not that complex or cutting edge but he wants me to share it and so I shall.  

We want freedom from the chains that have been strapped around us since childhood, personal self-reliance, a more simplistic way of life filled with gratifying work. Every aspect our lives is directed towards the pursuit of this dream.  The great part is that it's happening.  Right now.  Not in the way I first expected but in the way it needs to be done.  The best things worth having are never easy to acquire.  It takes time, patience, perseverance and strength.  And even then you may not be there.  

After years of impatience and running in circles I've found myself right where I wish to be.  Looking down a road filled with potential and opportunity.  Everything I wanted has sort of presented itself in this bold package and been dangled in front of me.  I just had to stop tripping over my own two feet and reach for it.  

Not really the best analogy but the best I could do.  It's an opportunity and will take patience and hard work to acquire, it hasn't been given to us.  I need to make that clarification.  We're towards the end of the first stage, building a strong foundation.  The pieces have been provided and now we're placing them in order.